- Summer has started and that means a time of transition
- The Mulder women don't always handle transition very well... but we need to get comfortable with
it, it is going to be around for a while : )
- Our house is still for sale after 23 showings... but yesterday we learned of an interested party!!!
(we are cautiously optimistic) Keep praying please.
- Said goodbye to Sioux Falls Christian School for a time...
- Packed our second bag to head down to Haiti ahead of our departure on August 12.
*If you want to know what has been going on in my heart & mind you are welcome to keep reading :)
Transition. We as a family are in it. Reality is, we might be in it for an undetermined amount of time. Last week, 3 of our 5 family members walked out of Sioux Falls Christian School and knew we would not be returning for a while. We unpacked the backpacks, cleaned off computers, and handed in keys.
It always happens this time of year for the girls and I (Sara). The long awaited summer vacation begins, and we experience a couple weeks where we are in transition. I am sure this is no different for many other families, figuring out new schedules, finding ways to fill our time, and even accomplishing a few things that have been put off 'until summer.' In the past, this time of transition is sometimes difficult because we are all trying to find a rhythm again.
This year, the transition feels a bit different. We are trying to sell our house, we are packing suitcases to send to Haiti and bring to storage, we are creating a list of fun things to do 'before we leave...' and we are doing our best to extend grace to each other through it all. But I have to be honest with you, and myself, I don't always do well with transition. I think it is the lack of control and structure to our days. The reality is, the girls and I have more hours, and flexibility in our days to carve out how we spend them. Like I said before, this is something we always eagerly anticipate, but this is a whole new level of transition.
Today was one of those days. We had fun things planned, we had friends to see, our house was showing twice! But I never gave my day to God before my feet hit the floor. Thus the grace tank was running on low towards each other. Early in the afternoon, the three girls were all either napping or quietly reading in their rooms. I spent a bit of time on the patio reading a book. I have referred to this book before in a previous post, so forgive me if I am over using it to relate to our own situations. But I found myself being reminded of exactly what my heart needed today. I want to share with you a portion from Kisses From Katie, by Katie Davis. It speaks of the battle between God and us in our struggle for obedience to His will on our lives. The author uses an analogy of one of her 3 year old daughter's battle to take a bath. The little girls fights a bath every time, and every time ends up realizing by the end of the bath, they really are wonderful and necessary.
- "I shudder to think what I could have missed in life because of my disobedience. I am so thankful that God in His grace does not allow me to win. Because usually, the fight is not really about what he is asking me to do. It is not about the bathtub, It is about me, trying to figure out just how much control I have over my little life. At this point, not much.
I would like to be able to say that I always do exactly what the Lords asks of me. I would like to say that I always seek Him first when a difficult situation presents itself. While I am getting better at it, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I still think what I do with my life should be my decision. God asks, and reasons, and encourages. He gently explains that I do not know what is best for me and that I do not always get what I want. And I just look at Him, not understanding at all what He's trying to say. Sometimes, I even whine and sob and shriek, just like a tired, angry three-year-old.
So God picks me up, exhausted from struggling, and plops me in the center of His will for my life. And then a funny thing happens. As I kick and scream and struggle, I remember: I like being in the center of God's will for my life. God's plan is usually pretty great. It is a whole lot better than mine anyway. I am so glad that He does not allow me to win.
The more I strive to live in the center of God's will, the more He asks me to give up, the more uncomfortable I become. He teaches me, over and over, that He does know best. The 'bathtub,' the uncomfortable places, they get only more difficult. But I am learning to remember, before I even get there, that eventually this will be what is best for me, and more important, what is best for His glory."
I really believe the circumstances of today, that didn't go as planned, and where love did not win, were a reminder to me that I am not in control. That I cannot expect plans to fall into place, or events to run smoothly, or children to listen the first time. I myself am often pitching-a-fit with God, and not looking to the Holy Spirit to guide my attitude, responses, and obedience. If only I would daily surrender my plans for His, and live minute-by-minute seeking His will. Tomorrow is a new day, and I will pray I do not win.
Lamentations 3:22-24 is running through my head.
" The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in Him."
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