This post might be more of an update on the condition of our hearts and minds, rather than an update on logistical things... so just a warning to proceed.
Over the past few months, there have been numerous times I/we have had conversations about how we have arrived at the place we are at, in the partnership with Mission Haiti this next year. These conversations have taken place in coffee shops, grocery stores, our own home, works places, our church and the list goes on. I have been thankful for the opportunities to tell a bit of our story, to sometimes the most unlikely people, and am amazed at how often connections are made in other's lives. As I reflect now, it is unmistakably by God's providence, that He has allowed our hearts to be cared for in this way. It brings comfort to my heart knowing that this sometimes crazy adventure, is not so crazy after all, when so many people have crossed our path knowing about, or having some connections to Mission Haiti. I sincerely believe it is God's way of carrying me through days, where I could feel very alone in what is going on in our life, as if no one can relate.
The fact is, there are so many who have cared for our whole family's hearts so well on this wild ride. I have used the analogy a few times of God putting down dots throughout our life. He has opened our eyes to how some of these dots are getting connected, revealing a part of the bigger picture in how He is leading us.
A couple weeks ago I had the opportunity to share a little bit at an SFC chapel. The chapel was made up of a variety of people telling about events which reveal God's hand at work in the life of our school. One phrase I remember saying as I spoke was, 'we never saw ourselves being in the position we are in.' For a while when I would say this to people it scared me. My doubt and fear would get the best of me, and the little voice in my head would question if this really was the right thing for our family.
I am happy to say with certainty, this is what we have been led to. Haiti is where our family has been called to be for the next year. Even as I write that, it seems a little unreal, but it is one of those gut feelings, that this is right and good. I know this feeling is a shred of the peace we have been praying for all along. Even though we have experienced this peace, we also experience times of question, exhaustion, worry and weariness. I believe these are all ways in which our sinful flesh is telling us to take the easy route, and give in to the trust we are placing in God's faithfulness.
So right now we are doing our best to be responsible to the things that need to be done. Things like training those individuals who will be filling our roles at the bank and school, things like making sure the house is in 'show' condition every day, and things like focusing on relationships with friends and family that will soon enough take on a different look, as we load the plane at the end of July. All of these things need to be given attention, and we are grateful for our Lord's sustaining power through it all.
I want to end with a quote from a book given to me by a very dear friend. The book is 'Kisses From Katie" written by Katie Davis. I am only two chapters in, but already know I can recommend you to read it if at all interested. In all the preparations for our move, and with all the 'lasts' happening, we have tried to be intentionally preparing our hearts for our role in Haiti. I believe this book will play a role in that preperation.
"...there were still times in those early days when I wondered Why me[us]? Why would God choose me[us] to do this? But as I think through my life, I see how blessed and loved I have been. I think it is only normal that God would ask, even require, me to share this love with others who may not know it. Luke 12:48 says, 'From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.' And I have been given so much.'
I read this and identified with it completely. We could have ignored what had been placed in our path. I will admit, I actually prayed to God to take this opportunity all away. But He didn't. He worked on my heart, Tim's heart, and the hearts of our girls, in exactly the way we all uniquely needed for His plan to become ours.
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